Feel alone in this house again tonight
I woke up early this morning around 4 am
I pulled the covers over my head and try to sleep
But thoughts of us kept awake me up
I guess I feel a little tired of this
I try to sweep out all the memories
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
I’ve never been the kind to ever let my feeling show
I’ve been trying my best
But that’s okay
There’s nothing left to say
Take your life, take your freedom
Take your memories, I don’t need them
Take your space and take your reasons
But, you’ll think of me
Someday, I’m gonna run across your mind
But don’t worry, I’ll be fine
I’m gonna be alright
In fact I’ll feel a lot of better
And you’re gonna think of me
Someday
Week 2 of the holiday.. I’m sick.. :( so difficult to talk. Hhmm.. well, another good news is I dropped from LEO 3 days ago. Feel better.. actually at that day it's so difficult for me to say I want to drop. I don't have choice.. I hav to.. I don't want to put myself in that club anymore. It's just.. i can't explain. But now, feel like everything's back to normal although sometimes I still think of it. I have to forget everything. It’s just a memory. Some is good and some is not. I’m tired of everything. tired of being good..
You know what?? This is the end.. this is the end of everything. I start want to know more about LEO on June 2009 and I end it on June 2010. Cool.. 1 year. Everything’s changed. All the people.. new people, new life, new attitude, all new.. shit with it.
The day when I come to the meeting, I thought it’s important b’coz it's the inauguration of the new president. I don’t believed what I see. How can a meeting not formal? It’s like playing. How can everything change because of another club? Hell.. I don’t like. I don’t care what they want to say about me. I know they’re 20th something, but guys.. it’s a meeting. It should be serious, not playing. I entered the room and I can count how many people I recognize. They keep asking me when you come? When you go back? How’s ur school? Each people keep asking me the same question. I become a sculpture for a few hours. F**K with it. I want go home, but I still respect the IPP, I stayed.
Before I study in KL, I always make LEO my #1. Everytime they asked me to go, they called me, I always go. I keep positive thinking although my mind keep saying they only find u when they need u. They need your car. Geez, how can i think like that. Be positive! but now I can’t. This time worst.. I try to be patient, and it doesn’t work. You know what I get? Shit.. I don’t feel good whole day. It’s worst than I can’t get what I want.
It should end. It’s stupid if I just hurt myself. I should face it. If it should be like that, then it should be. I won’t scare. I’m going to face everything. I’m tired of being good, tired of acting, tired of everything. I’ll show them the real of me. I’m bad, I’m ego, I’m cruel, and I never care about anyone. I learned everything from them. Help a lot of people. Keep helping, keep helping, and I become the victim. Victim of stupidity.. I don’t care about people. And now I called and I admitted that I’m stupid. Because everytime I care, people won’t know or the worst is pretend like don't know, and I don’t get the same thing like what I’ve done. Maybe.. maybe.. we shouldn’t expect something from someone. Yaa.. it’s right, but I want to ask is there anyone like that? It's fake if they say got. Everyone expect the same thing they do to others, just they don’t say it. So am I.. I won’t asked them, I just can write and write.. and blame it here.. Amazing hah??
Maybe I should change. I shouldn’t care about people. I’ve to act like myself. I shouldn’t lie to myself. I’ve make the biggest mistake in my life. Trusting people and always think that they’re the one and hope they do the same thing like what I did. But, it’s never late to change. I won’t do that stupid things anymore. I won’t expect something from them. I won’t.. I promise. Time to change... People always make mistake, so am I. Don’t be surprise when I'm change. Don’t say that I’m bad, because that’s the real me and ya that’s me. I can do everything. I still know which right and wrong. Thank you for everything. This will be a nightmare bcoz I've known the truth..
Start from now, I'll act like myself, I'll act like I just know them, and I'll pretend like I never be good to them. I'll just talk when they ask me. I'm not going to find them! this is life.. it's cruel and people won't help u if there's no benefit!
hahaaa... i can't stop laughing..
Shopping time...
I just bought a new watch and new luggage for myself.
I don't take picture of the luggage.. so troublesome.. haha.. It's purple color. Unique rite?? hahaaa...
1st i wan to take brown color but no more.. i late a few mins.. if not i'll get tat color..=.=
Plot :
June Havens finds her everyday life tangled with that of a secret agent who has realized he isn't supposed to survive his latest mission. As their campaign to stay alive stretches across the globe, they soon learn that all they can count on is each other.
I meet my old friend here, CW. OMG.. she's work part time there.. so happy to she her.. Bfor this we cum tgether to KL, then i move univ, so long time we didn't meet. Chit chat time... :)
Ahh... my friend can work part time, i can't.. i busy wit my assignmnt. When holiday cum, it's time to sleep, not to work!! weww... mybe i shud try to work next time.. (i'm not sure actually, hahaha...)
The youngest in the family, workaholic, fun to be with, coffee addicted :), enjoy sleep late nite (never see sunrise), spend most of the time doing works and thinks tat 24 hours a day is not enough.
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